
It was just a movie until it started mirroring me. Travis is everything I am; scared, lukewarm about emotions, curling up when things are about to get serious and walking away from troubles. The movie “The choice” premiered in 2016 is a reflection of my life in retrospect. Just like him, I have just one chair and what did Gabriella who finally became his heartthrob say about a man who has just one chair?
“A man who has just one chair loves to sit alone.”
I have been evasive, I have been sceptical, I have been nutting good but I crave more of everything I can’t get, and that’s a woman who could finally fix it— the cold feet.
Those around Travis used to wonder why he was so good with words and the women but never kept one, it wasn’t different from me and what people say. I equally talk to a lot of people and it comes easily for me and the similarity is, we don’t attach emotions to these people, we just talk to them cause we can. People always wondered why Travis could talk to all the good looking women yet didn’t have a stable relationship with any of these women. He had a hollow in his heart, he had a space he felt no one will ever fill and the emptiness hovering over him whenever he was surrounded by people was enough to make any human desperate, but he stood firm and remained resolved. Being alone isn’t a curse, and most of us stick to our recourse
Against all submissions about him and his capabilities, he had a heart that was capable of emotions and loving someone. It took just a girl who paid attention to his every detail to know this. She was his neighbour. She was everything that could trouble him, but yet she was the one for him. The only problem was that she was already taken.
This happens to me a lot of time. I usually fall in love with women who already belong to someone else. Women who may grow to love me, but still not sure if I would stay with them if they left who they were with for me. I didn’t know how to convince them, and so, I always walked away. I guess the last thing any woman wants is a man who can’t fight for her.
The problem isn’t fighting for her. The problem is fighting for someone who is not sure about what she feels. In such troubling moments, I get conflicted between what I want and who I want.
I want to stay, I want to fight, but who I love is taken and sceptical about me. And for all it is worth, it is a beautiful pain. I can’t blame anyone. I mean, I have a reputation. So, it is only natural for anyone to not want to commit to a guy like me.
It is for the same reason that I sit on my chair in all that lonely hour wondering if I’ll ever be able to love and be loved again. It is never easy when you’re known for something. It is never easy when everyone thinks you a type of way. It is never easy when you remember every single detail about who your dream woman is. It is never easy to grow up and not be able to locate a woman like that.
Maybe we make a lot of choices. And just maybe we don’t see how our choices now decide our next moments. Just maybe it is okay to be nonchalant about a lot of things till it comes back to haunt us. It is true that Travis didn’t believe in God. It is true that I am equally irreligious. And just like him, the only time I had a need to be in the church was for the woman I loved.
People love to judge. People love to sit on the fence when the decision to make becomes tough. People love to take the easy way out when the journey becomes rough. People learn to cherish the memories more when people and things are no longer there.
People love to stay broken the very moment what they love breaks them. It is like, we love to feel broken as long as we could say who made us that way. It is never too late to pick up the broken pieces and start afresh. Anyone might hate you for living a type of way, but you alone know why you are there.
So, if you ever believe in love, one day just that you’ll get. In all you do, don’t forget that there is a return for every choice that you make.
This is beautiful.
❤️